


Been reading books of old, the legends and the myths

by Valkrist (Anouk_Tyrell)



Series: Peaky Blinders Rare Pair Bingo 2020 [3]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Epistolary, Letters, Love Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:21:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25528852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anouk_Tyrell/pseuds/Valkrist
Summary: Remember the last time we wrote each other letters? I don’t, but well, maybe it’s a good idea. Kinda funny to send all this words, knowing that you won’t read them immediately. But I won’t write them too often, still gotta pay for my living, you know.Strasbourg is pretty nice, actually. Kinda quiet at some points, but probably better than Paris or London or one of this places. Studying will start next week, so I have a week to get used to all this stuff here. Probably will take a walk tomorrow and buy some groceries, but not today. It’s quite late already, don’t know why I’m writing this letter, could go to sleep and try to get my sanity back. I’m a lost cause.
Relationships: Tommy Shelby/Barney Thompson
Series: Peaky Blinders Rare Pair Bingo 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1837063
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3
Collections: Peaky Blinders Rare Pair Bingo 2020





	Been reading books of old, the legends and the myths

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my friends!
> 
> And again, a bingo story :)
> 
> This time the prompt was "epistolary" and it kinda went out of control, oops.
> 
> Song title and some lines inspired by “Something Just Like This" by The Chainsmokers and Coldplay. Wonderful song, old but gold.

**August 25**

_Dear Ada,_

_Remember the last time we wrote each other letters? I don’t, but well, maybe it’s a good idea. Kinda funny to send all this words, knowing that you won’t read them immediately. But I won’t write them too often, still gotta pay for my living, you know._

_Strasbourg is pretty nice, actually. Kinda quiet at some points, but probably better than Paris or London or one of this places. Studying will start next week, so I have a week to get used to all this stuff here. Probably will take a walk tomorrow and buy some groceries, but not today. It’s quite late already, don’t know why I’m writing this letter, could go to sleep and try to get my sanity back. I’m a lost cause._

_Anyway, how are you? And the others? I hope Finn didn’t do too much shit and Polly isn’t angry at me for this load she has on her back now? Give them my regards! (And don’t let Arthur ruffle you, eh?)_

_Tommy_

**August 27**

_Dear Ada,_

_Why did I think that studying here would be a good idea? Not that I have social anxiety or so, but I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to this bunch of weirdos._

_Today the last guy from our apartment moved in. Alfie. Weird guy, I must say. A little bit grumpy in the morning and afternoon, but quite okay in the evening, I think. Had only one day to detect this, but I’m quite sure that he’s like that every day. Likes to talk about his dog, that’s alright. Hope he’ll cook more often for all of us, this soup today was quite tasty. I mean, this sandwich I had in mind would have been nice too, but having a warm, healthy meal can’t hurt, eh?_

_Ben is okay. Maybe I don’t like his music taste, but at least I don’t have to hear it on full volume when I’m sleeping, so I can’t really complain. A little bit withdrawn, but sometimes silence is the best thing, innit?_

_And Luca … still don’t know what to think about him. Polite enough not to go for Alfie’s throat, but I feel that they don’t really like each other. Runs around with a toothpick in his mouth, occasionally mumbling something in Italian. I’m sure he’s offending Alfie and hoping that this guy doesn’t understand him. Either way, if something happens, I’ll cut their throats sooner or later, you know me._

_And then there is May from next door … well, may seems to be a bit touch-starved, to be honest. Almost feel sorry for her. I think she’s a little bit lonely, shy, not like the other girls in her apartment. I mean, she’ll surely get used to it, doesn’t really have a choice, but I can totally understand that there are cooler things than that._

_Generally, the girls are weird. Giggling the whole time, either looking as if they grew up together and are best friends or hating each other. I think Tatiana is the highlight. You know, I don’t like prejudices, but she really is this typical cliché Russian girl, I swear. Totally crazy, was drunk all this evenings and wanted to fuck kinda everyone. Was a little bit pissed after Alfie insisted on her friends bringing her to bed, but I’m quite sure that someone joined her there. Don’t know who, though, Bonnie wasn’t the only one looking ruffled in the morning._

_Met a guy when I went to the Palais Rohan. They have an archeological museum there and I thought it would be a good way to get some peace. He’s also studying here, Russian literature. I think you would get on well together, he seems to know a lot about it, even though I have no clue. Didn’t really bother to keep them in mind, not my cuppa tea._

_Tommy_

**September 2**

_Dear Tommy,_

_Did I already mention that you’re dumb? But I feel sorry for you. Wouldn’t rant that much if I were you, but that’s up to you, after all. Still don’t know why you hate this people, what you tell about them doesn’t sound that bad, but okay._

_Russian girl, Russian literature, why are you the one studying there? Sounds like a chance I’d be way more grateful for, you thankless bastard. What about listening to this people once and seeing what you can learn from them? May I remind you that you were the one who wanted to go there so much to see a new place and meet new people? I think that actually you are the grumpy one in your flat, not this Alfie guy. Ever considered working on yourself?_

_But enough criticism for today. Finn is the cutest baby ever, not like you. Looks innocent, even though I’m afraid that I’ll find him secretly smoking in ten years or so. Something tells me, that he’ll follow in your footsteps, even though I’ll do anything to hamper it._

_Ada_

**September 3**

_Dear Ada,_

_You remember when I told you about this guy I met? Saw him again. Name’s Barney and apparently he’s living one floor up, funny coincidence. Didn’t know you could accidentally meet people on the stairs. Obviously too many of them here._

_However, he’s a nice guy, actually. Maybe will quote Dostoyevsky during sex, but except that … bought groceries together and talked a little bit. (Lectures have been good, by the way. The psychology course has been the right decision, as annoying as the people can be.) I’m not the only “weird guy“ who likes listening to Twenty One Pilots and Annisokay on a loop, ha! So don’t ever say that, alright?_

_Oh, and he likes how my coat looks. Good quality, I would say. Say that to certain people who still think it’s silly! It’s not silly, it’s aesthetically pleasing. Maybe to warm for this time of the year, but believe me, in winter it’ll be perfect. And till then it’s just good-looking. Period._

_Tommy_

**September 6**

_Don’t even wanna write a greeting cause I don’t know how you managed to write this last paragraph so emotionless. Are you sure that he only likes your coat and think that it looks good, not that he likes you and how you look in it? Seriously? I hope you’re kidding me. You can’t possibly be so silly, can you? Just get your shit together, please._

_Said it to certain people, as you call them. Doesn’t seem to be a valid argument, I’m sorry. Same goes for your music taste, but I think it’s a thing we should rather discuss personally when you’re back home, yeah?_

_Miss you, you dumbass. Polly too, even if she doesn’t want to admit it. But don’t be too smug about it, alright? I already see you grinning and thinking that you’re the king of the world, Tommy. But you’re still Tommy Shelby, my smart but weird brother, yeah? Just enjoy your time and pass the exams. And don’t be so silly, please._

_Maybe you can call me when you have time? As much as I enjoy this letters, insulting you in real time is much better. Don’t wanna wait days till I get your reaction. Yes, texting me good night is not enough, not the same. (Don’t stop sending them, don’t you dare!)_

_Ada_

**September 9**

_Hello Ada,_

_Yes, my coat. Period._

_Not a valid argument? Not a valid argument?! How dare you … don’t even know if I should come back around Christmas and talk to all of you. Not cool, my friends, not cool. You don’t know how a valid argument looks like!_

_Tell Polly I said hello! Don’t know how this wonder woman can deal with all of you at the same time, but I’m glad she can. What would we all do without her? I’m probably the only human being capable of living in this family beside her. Anyway, tell her that she’s cool and that I’m not saying this to get eventual financial support when times get hard. I know she won’t accept this compliments too easily._

_Well, last week was funny. We had a campfire, the girls also joined. I think I don’t need to tell you who was drunk again, do I? Don’t know what is wrong with this girl, but she really seems to wanna do it all the time. Unlike her, Alfie is completely sober. Didn’t even want to drink one beer, however this is possible. Shit, this guy knows how to mix the best stuff but doesn’t even wanna try it! Just smells at it and looks at you with this “you can obviously smell how good it is“ look. Maybe he poisons it and we’re too dumb to get it? Who knows._

_Even got to talk to Esme from psychology course today. Already knew that she is smart, she even knows what questions to ask, but damn, she really knows what life is about. Isn’t afraid of being honest and talking about deeper topics. We have different opinions on some things, but at least I know the latest news from the girls’ apartments now. May has a beef with Grace, they seem to be into the same guy. Esme didn’t want to tell me who it is - maybe it’s someone I know? - but yeah, doesn’t really matter, does it? Meanwhile Lizzie and Linda both wanna be the best in their courses. Don’t know where they get their enthusiasm from, whatever. Wouldn’t do the same. Except that everything seems to be alright. We had s’mores and drank and just had a good time._

_Anyway, Barney dragged me to the library today when he realized that I haven’t been there yet. I know, I know, I should have gone there the first day and my library etiquette is horrible, but yeah, he can be very stubborn - and by very stubborn I mean very very very stubborn. Doesn’t even know what the prefrontal cortex is, but studying if way funnier with him. Even managed to learn something, what a miracle. (The building is cool, though. Can admit that even if books aren’t my best friends.)_

_Tommy_

_PS Got your letter about me being dumb, too. Don’t dare insulting me like that ever again, sis, my feelings are hurt.  
  
PPS Won’t write that many letters this months, gotta save money and so some other stuff, just so you know._

**October 2**

_Dear Ada,_

_Barney convinced me to go kayaking next weekend. Somewhere near Basel or so, don’t really care about the details cause they won’t help me, will they? Why did I even agree? I mean, he said I would learn it easily, but I don’t know if I should really trust him at that point. This things look pretty unstable, if you ask me._

_Shit, I simply don’t wanna embarrass myself, and what am I doing? Not going for a safe option, no, I’m trying something new. I know, that’s what I have to do these days, but still don’t like it that much. Should simply stay at home and finish working through this one presentation. Actually wanted to do it yesterday, but then Alfie made syrniki, such weird curd cheese pancakes, and Ben was quite eager to find out if we could understand the plot of Snowpiercer while being drunk. (Spoiler: We did not, can’t even remember what this movie was about, to be honest.) Wanna try the same thing with Black Swan and Shutter Island next week, it’s gonna be legendary._

_Told Barney about my sister (yes, you) being into Russian literature, too, so he wants to give you weekly or monthly recs now - and maybe also get some back, even if I don’t know if there’s anything left he didn’t read yet. Well, you can read (or reread, who knows) The Idiot by Dostoevsky. Quite popular so you surely came across it. Probably not for everyone but still worth a try. Do you also have a rec for him? Maybe with an explanation or so (and they exact title, please, I don’t know all your secret Russian literature codes and don’t wanna look too dumb, alright?)._

_Tommy_

**October 5**

_Tommy,_

_First of all: It’s interesting that not that many letters means exactly one letter in Tommy language. I mean, texting is good, but I still hate your weird wordings._

_Whatever, didn’t thing I’d ever get such a letter from you. So you admit that you can be afraid? Oh la la, not bad, not bad. Don’t think you’ll fuck it up, so don’t worry. You do lots of shit, but this guy makes you surpass yourself. Still wanna say that he’s only a friend and nothing more? What’s your gaydar saying? Surely yes, no need to lie to year dear sister Ada, eh?_

_While we’re on it, make him (re)read Doctor Shivago by Pasternak. He surely read it already, so the brackets aren’t really necessary. Won’t add an explanation, read it yourself to make one up. Can’t find another way to make you do it. Googling it doesn’t count._

_Finn broke a vase today. I had to clean up all the mess while Polly took him away and Arthur found it funny so she made him help me. You’ll be back for his birthday, won’t ya? Sad enough that he’ll have to grow up without you around. (You can invite Barney over, by the way, if you want to. I didn’t tell the others anything, just mentioned that you made new friends and would maybe like to spend the days together with them, too. Nothing more, I swear.)_

_Oi, and you still need to send me his Instagram profile! No excuses, not this time, you promised me. Won’t even follow him, just stalk him a little bit. Need to know who you like, don’t I?_

_Don’t forget sending me some photos from your trip, too! (Wanna see you suffer.)_

_Ada_

**October 11**

  
Bonjour Ada,

_I’m back from the kayak trip. Hasn’t been that bad actually. We laughed a lot and I’m actually quite capable if Barney is to be believed._

_If I didn’t know better, I would wonder where you get all the words from, but alright. Yeah, he probably is, but doesn’t have to mean anything and you know that. There is this guy they call Goliath, well, he’s a thing, not me. Who knows, maybe they already fucked. I don’t care. He’s just a good friend and I simply don’t wanna give him too many reasons to laugh about me, alright? He’s a nice guy, that’s why I told you about him, okay?_

_(Barney also has family and wants to spend time with his people, you know? So no, I won’t invite him over. Period.)  
I assume you already saw the photos from the trip cause you liked them? Should’ve made a new account so that you can’t see them. And another thing: Didn’t you promise not to follow Barney? Just because his profile is private and he’s kind enough to accept your request … doesn’t mean that you have to use this kindness! (I swear, I’ll cut your throat if you tell him embarrassing childhood stories. Damn, I’m giving you so many bad ideas, don’t I?)_

_Tommy_

_PS Sorry for this one month break, by the way. Won’t happen again, I hope. I think. Can’t guarantee, though._

PPS Went to the museum again. Saw this picture, “Schlank durch Zermatter Naturbrunnenkur“ by Dürrenmatt, and had to think about you immediately. Your body is the left person, your soul the right one. Don’t dare destroying my life by doing dumb shit, alright?

**October 24**

_Dear Ada,_

_Exams are horrible. Horrible. Only have the weekends now to relax. We’re still looking for the next complex movie to watch drunk, do you have any recs? Shutter Island was wonderful, we also watched Interstellar … I’m sure you have a good idea. You always have good ideas._

_How is Arthur? He’s been a little bit taciturn this week, I’m kinda worried. I hope he didn’t beat Freddie or someone else to a pulp? Don’t have another explanation to be honest. Arthur didn’t wanna talk about it, but I feel that his thoughts are somewhere else the whole time. He’s still joking, but yeah, something is weird. Either romantic feelings (extremely unlikely in my opinion) or some bad emotions?_

_How is school going? And Freddie? I mean, it’s obvious that everything is cool, but as you always wanna know my details, I also want yours. Something interesting, something that is better than my psychology books. I know, I actually like them and it’ll be worth it and such stuff, but why do I have to go through this? My poor brain…_

_So now I’m sitting here, in the library, taking a break to eat and write this letter. Sorry for any eventual grease spots. Couldn’t say no when Alfie offered to make pancakes. This guy has too much time, obviously, but can’t complain, it’s wonderful brain food, good for my nerves. Barney’s jokes are good, too. Don’t know how he concentrates on his books, but he chuckles quite often. Tried to find out what is so funny about this Russian literature, but he wasn’t able to explain it to me? Can you? Just wanna understand why he smiles and blushes so adorably the whole time._

_Tommy_

**November 3**

_My dear, dear Tommy,_

_Sorry that it took me so long to answer. Everything has been kinda chaotic, you know. Why didn’t you remind me of it? I mean, we’ve been on the phone for hours. Could have discussed it all. And what did we do instead? Talk about pointless things. Did you do this on purpose? Can’t believe I wasn’t a pain in the ass._

_Don’t know what he was laughing about, sorry, but I know that you’re totally in love with him. Still don’t get why you don’t ask him out or at least do more stuff together with him, not only studying. Okay, I could ask him the same question. Maybe you’re both kinda dull?_

_And before you say something else, may I quote your last letter? “smiles and blushes so adorably“ - would you say something like this about your best friend? I’m not sure about that, I’m not sure! (I am. I know you wouldn’t do this, you’ve never been the sentimental kind of guy, you usually use such phrases to make fun of people. But you don’t make fun of Barney, do you?) This thing with Goliath sounds kinda vague, too. Don’t use it as an excuse not to talk to him. Don’t say that you don’t care about him._

_Everything is alright with Freddie. He would want you to be happy, too, just so you know. Didn’t tell him anything, but he saw me looking at this kayak photos and said that Barney looks like a nice guy. Makes you smile more often. Lovely contrast to all this grumpy pics I have from you. You see? I’m not the only one who knows it. Not the only one. Get your head out of your ass and do something!_

_Your wonderful Ada_

_PS You’re an asshole. This picture doesn’t show my body and soul. It’s my brain (massive cause I’m learning that much) and my hand (dead cause I’m writing too much). Don’t confuse this things anymore, okay?_

_PPS I can follow whoever I want. I’m not trying to snatch him from under your nose, don’t be such a dickhead. Talk to him and I won’t need to._

**November 22**

_Dear Ada,_

_The gangster I am, I didn’t tell you about my plans for this weekend in advance, ha! Has been amazing to have some days without you constantly asking what I’m doing and how it’s all going and all the innuendoes you like so much._

_Thought that I would be a good idea to return the favor after Barney had had this idea with the kayak trip, so I planned a weekend in Stuttgart. Yeah, I know, I have zero German skills, but who gives a fuck? Still found some things to do, they actually have cool automobile museums there. Lovely route to go by bike, by the way, but took the train back cause we still had to study. Well, at least to pretend._

_I don’t even like castles and all this stuff, but damn, you should’ve seen Barney. Smiled the whole time, was so happy, just too cute. We took a bunch of photos, that was funny. No, you won’t find them all on Instagram later, dream on._

_The art museum and zoological-botanical garden have been cool, though. The sea lions are so lovely, you really gotta see them once! The feed was interesting. We didn’t understand what the keeper was saying, but Barney was happy nevertheless. I’m still surprised he didn’t buy a plushie afterwards and walk around like the luckiest kid the world has ever seen._

_Tommy_

_PS Goliath isn’t an excuse._

_PPS He really isn’t._

**December 4**

_Tommy,_

_Don’t think I’m not mad at you for not telling me this anymore. The only thing that makes it up is your beautifully vivid description - and the photos Barney posted, but that’s not your accomplishment._

_If you still wanna pretend we don’t know the truth, do it. I’m sick of trying to encourage you to adhere to it. No need to palm me off with this pitiful excuses about this Goliath and other oh-so-bad circumstances. Why don’t you simply ask Barney, eh? Why don’t you simply ask him? You know exactly how to do it. You spend so much time together, it wouldn’t even be awkward. Don’t tell me that you’re afraid of ruining your friendship or something like that, we both know this won’t happen. He’s an adorable, understanding guy. Even if he doesn’t feel the same (which I think is impossible), he won’t shun you. You mean too much to him, I know that. And no, I didn’t talk to him about that, didn’t talk to him at all, but it’s obvious._

_Ada_

_PS Why didn’t you buy him this plushie, actually? Yes, you, Tommy Shelby. You could have made him smile even more._

**December 12**

_Tommy,_

_This will probably be the last letter I send you this year. Feels kinda weird to write this, actually._

_Wish you a cool next week before coming back home. Finish all the stuff you still need to do and relax afterwards, yeah? Baby Finn is waiting for you. All of us are. Even Arthur is happier now that he realized that you’ll come back soon._

_Can’t wait to see you again! Good flight!_

_Ada_

**December 12**

_Guess who made friends with a whiskey bottle again? It’s meeeeee._

_So I’ve been talking to myself about myself and then I decided to be honest and write shit down before I decide not to do it, eh? Always use your brave moments Ada, use them._

_If this letter is too embarrassing then don’t mention it when I’m back home, alright? Just don’t mention it, burn it, whatever it takes._

_I think I’m in love with Barney fucking Thompson. Okay, I don’t only think it, maybe I’ve known it for a time now, but who cares? Oh yeah, you do, well. And I’m afraid. I’m confused. I don’t know what it means. Don’t know where this will lead. But now I said it and there’s no way back, yeah? No way back. Be brave, Tommy._

_He likes good music, makes me go to the library, how is that even possible? I don’t care if he’s shy or not, if he talks about Russian literature or other things I don’t know for hours. He tries to explain them to me, such a patient person. His voice is so soothing, damn, he just makes me feel safe._

_Maybe I should go to his room now? No, bad idea, it’s late, he’s already sleeping, I think. Can’t wake him up, he’s not the one with the fucked up sleep-wake rhythm. But I’d like to hug him, though. Well, maybe I can do it tomorrow? Just need to buy another bottle and everything will be alright._

_Wanted to write a pro and con list about Barney and talking about all this stuff but does it even make sense? He’s so fucked up but still kinda hot and shit I’d love to hug him right now. He would be such a beautiful small spoon I swear. Aww, even thinking about it is kinda … arousing?_

_Wanna hug him every time when he smiles so lovely. This dimples, way too cute. Could listen to him the whole day, even if he’s reading one of his Russian books and I don’t understand a word. Maybe Russian is they new lovely and cute and sexy, who knows._

_How much will I need tomorrow to send this letter?_

**January 30**

_Dear Ada,_

_We did it. Fuck, we did it. Didn’t know this would happen, but then he also came with me and we were sitting there and maybe we were knowing it the whole time but yeah, who cares?_

_Thought that kissing would be the most I’d ever get, but no, I’m such a lucky man. No need for many words, it just happened. And we even were quiet enough, Ben and the others didn’t complain, hooray! Not sure if they even noticed it, Barney is good at sneaking out. I mean, I would have loved to have him over for breakfast, but we only have four chairs and didn’t want all the attention and him sitting on my lap or the other way around would have been weird, yeah? I mean, not weird for us, but weird for the others and I still gotta live together with this fuckers so I didn’t want to make it awkward. One day we’ll tell them, they surely already suspect something, but yeah._

_Thank you for the whiskey bottle, by the way. Don’t know if I would be able to write this letter without it. Can you even read it? Is my handwriting nice enough or do you have to decipher it? Will probably have to get drunk again to send it. Do I want you to read it? Or not? I don’t know. But read it. Maybe it’s worth it, maybe it’s not, we’ll see._

_But shit, he’s actually strong. Oh, really, Tommy? Wasn’t the kayaking thing proof enough? Apparently not, haha. And he looks good. I know you’re not the one into him, but believe me, I’m not lying. Did you see this strong arms? A worthy opponent, shit. So fucking worthy. Fucking, you get it? Fucking._

_Shit why didn’t I invite him over? We could have done it earlier. In good old Birmingham. But we would have disturbed you, yeah? Okay, maybe it would have been a bad idea. Whatever. Now it finally happened and I can’t change the past and don’t really want to, but now fate rests with me and that’s cool._

_Tommy_

**February 2**

_Tommy,_

_Congrats! I’m so proud of you. Shit, I’m nearly crying, so happy to read that! How did you manage to wait all this days until the letter arrives? Wow … I’m speechless._

_I hope you still don’t regret this letter. I believe you that you were drunk, didn’t even tell me about your first kiss, you asshole. Won’t ask you for the details, probably too private, but you could’ve told me nevertheless. I mean, I’m trying to encourage you to do things, but it seems as if you didn’t even need all the advice?! When did it happen? (Yes, need to know how long you kept it from me.)_

_Knew I couldn’t leave you alone for a second. You know, only a week ago you’ve been back home and now you’re in France again, French kissing and doing other stuff. Ironic, isn’t it? But okay, I can understand it, France and romance have a quite special relationship._

_I hope you know that this is a proof that you’ve been missing each other a lot. Just hope that on whatever level you are right now, you’ll talk about it. Make clear what you are, what it all means. (Did I hear relationship? Did I hear it? Think so.)_

_Ada_

_PS Stop writing this things drunk. As happy as I am about you opening up, I’m sure you don’t need whiskey to do it. Or alcohol at all. You’re braver than you think._

**February 7**

_Dear Ada,_

_Nothing important, were just watching telly. Leaned on my shoulder, hugged, kissed, nothing special. Cuddling is cool as long as the others don’t watch you, you know. Have never been so glad that the other guys can be very busy sometimes. Usually it’s annoying, hate to live without Alfie’s good meals, Luca’s bad anecdotes and Ben’s calmness, but this time … shit, I’m still so happy when I remember it._

_It’s just … so new. Still can’t really believe it, if you know what I mean. I mean, it’s not that new, actually, but we never defined it before. Just let it flow, let it be something natural, nothing more. Words tend to make this more complicated than they should be, set painful boundaries … but this time I’ve got the feeling that it might be painless, after all. Or not as painful as bad things are, at least._

_But you were right, talking helps. It’s good, it’s right. He’s such a cutie pie, oh god. A human being capable of loving me, holy shit. I don’t even know how relationships work anymore, but he doesn’t care. Says we’ll figure it out together, no rush. Doing what feels right and good, lovely motto, innit? Can I actually give him everything he needs and wants? No idea. Will I try it, give my best? Fuck, yes. I mean, I’m not that incompetent, am I?_

_Maybe you wanna come here in some weeks? All of you, I mean. I’ll have a winter break, so enough time. The city is quite nice, some lovely hotels, I’ll find a good place for you to stay. Didn’t plan anything with Barney yet, so he’ll understand that I’ll do something with you, too. Knows how much I miss you, don’t even need to tell him that._

_But don’t tell the others about him yet, okay? Wanna do it myself, properly, maybe when you come over. Some nice talks, introducing them to this thought of me having someone. Still gotta figure it out._

_Tommy_

_PS Thank you. For everything._

**February 27**

_I know you were drunk when you told me about this letters you wrote to your sister. Actually showed me one, hope you don’t mind me being honest about it. Just thought that you’d maybe like to have one from me too? We’re talking to each other every day, of course, but this is something entirely different. Something you can keep, if you want._

_Maybe you’ll read this after your family is back home? Of course you didn’t miss a chance to tell me how annoying they all can be, but I know that you love them nevertheless. They’re cool people, actually. Weird at some point, you’re right, but we all have our own idiosyncrasies, don’t we?_

_What I actually wanted to say, I still remember that night. Still remember us being so close to each other. It felt so good, too good. Do you know that my heart stood still when you whispered all this words into my ear? I love you. Such strong words. Didn’t know I’d ever hear them coming out of your mouth._

_You make me feel amazing, you know. I can still feel your hands on me. Around me. Your skin on my skin. Your lips on mine. Do you even know what you’re doing to me? You make me feel at home, safe and beloved, even desired. Remember when you wrapped your hands around me? I felt so small, but it wasn’t bad, quite the opposite. Soothing. Beautiful. You make me reconsider all my preferences, that’s insane._

_How do you always manage to make me blush? Want you so bad. You remember my hand on your cock? How good it feels when it slowly gets hard in them? You’re such a sight, your eyes closed, so beautiful. And do you still remember when you took me in your mouth? Even swallowed and kept licking me when I started softening again? Nobody has ever done that for me, never. I adore you so much. Every thrust, every kiss, every time we cuddle. Just wanna pull you close and not let you go anymore. Even when you nearly crush me to dead, I couldn’t care less. I mean, I’m still sure that you’re the better small spoon, but won’t argue as long as you give me this amazing massages and wet kisses and all this other beautiful things you’re capable of giving._

_Makes me think about “Something Just Like This“. I’m not looking for somebody with some superhuman gifts. Just something I can turn to, somebody I can kiss. Maybe we aren’t perfect, maybe it’s still something new, maybe we both have no idea what we’re doing. But I couldn’t care less. You make me happy. I don’t want someone else. You’re the one I need._

_I love you._

**Author's Note:**

> Did you like it? And do you also think that Ada is a real hero?  
> Leave some kudos and comments if you want :)
> 
> Tumblr: @valkrist


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